Leeds Family Valued: Stories of success from innovators and adopters
Families share their journeys
Amy, Mother, Family Valued, Newcastle
Amy (not her real name) had three children all under the age of 5. The children’s father was abusive and Amy’s home life was chaotic. Amy says that at the time she was “all over the place. When the kids were at home, I was struggling but I didn’t want to admit it.” Her children were with her for two years before they were taken into foster care.
“You feel like you are under pressure and like you are being judged.”
Amy found this hard, and it had a negative impact on her mental health. “I was distraught thinking ‘why is this happening to me?’, ‘how has this happened to me?’”
Time passed and then Amy found out she was pregnant. “I was over the moon, but I thought I’m not going to cope.” There were fears that the same would happen again, that Amy would struggle to cope and her new child would be removed, but this time Amy was introduced to Mel, a family group coordinator within Newcastle’s Children’s Services.
“And when Mel came into it, she said “of course you’re going to cope, you’ll be brilliant”. I’ve never met anyone like Mel before, she’s such a relaxed person. You automatically relax around her.”
Sarah, Amy’s mum, smiles when she speaks about Mel and the impact that she had on Amy and her family: “She’s absolutely brilliant. She’s like family.”
Keeping families together
Newcastle’s Director for Children’s Services Cath Mcevoy-Carr explains that family group conferences (FGCs) are an integral part of Newcastle’s relational practice work and their vision of keeping families together. Cath’s says that “Removing children from families should be the last resort and this [FGCs] allows us to explore what alternative options there are for families.”
FGCs are a meeting that bring together all the people in a child’s life to develop a plan to protect and support them. The process aims to be empowering for the family, giving them the chance to make decisions, working towards developing a practical plan for the child that allows them to safely remain with their family.
FGCs play a key role as part of the Family Valued model with their emphasis on relationships and having children and families at the centre of the decision-making process. Mel sums it up like this:
“It’s all about relational and restorative practice. It’s about giving it back to families and seeing what they can come up with as they know and love each other and can come up with the best plan for that young person.”
Family led decision-making
Amy had an FGC when she was pregnant and another just after giving birth to her new daughter.
“Mel was absolutely amazing. She came and picked us up and took us to the place where we needed to go and brought us up. It was comfortable, they had everything we needed. There was my mum, my daughter’s dad, my eldest daughter, my eldest son, and my daughter’s other Nana.”
Reflecting on her family’s discussion at the FGC, Amy was blown away by their support.
“My mum was saying ‘I can have her on this day and have her overnight if you need me to’. My eldest son said he could stand in and help to do this or that. Everyone has laid out what they can do to help me with my daughter. With all of that in place I know who exactly I can go to on those days when I need help. It’s all written down and I know that one day if I need one of them, I know where they are going to be.”
“I would definitely say to do a family group conference, definitely, definitely! It helps heaps! It really does. You might not think it at first because that was how I thought, ‘no way was this going to help’. But it really did.”
Sarah adds: “She now understands that there are people there for her.
Amy’s family have seen a change in her following the FGCs and the family’s plan for caring for Amy’s daughter. Sarah is delighted to see how Amy has grown.
“She’s a lot happier, she’s more confident. And she’s more onboard with everything, even with her older children. They’re all like “wow” at how much their mum has changed.”
This change hasn’t been lost on Amy too and she admits to being a more confident person and parent. “I’m such a better person now than what I was if that makes sense? I have got more confidence with family. I can go to them and ask for help if I need it, whereas before I couldn’t do that.”
With Christmas in the next few weeks there is a lot of excitement about having the family together and celebrating. “We will be around all the family. It’ll be my daughter’s first Christmas and we’ll meet up with her brothers and sisters and we’ll have a big family meal.”
Carla Young, Youth Worker, Family Valued, Warwickshire
It doesn’t take long for Carla’s affable, empathetic, and trusting personality to come across after first meeting her. As she talks about herself and her work, it becomes clear that these are the qualities which have allowed her to build relationships with hundreds of children and get the best out of them. Without her input, many of these children would have remained isolated and hard to reach.
Carla shares her experience working with a 13-year-old boy, where she supported him to avoid spiralling out of control following being arrested for violent behaviour, drug use, and carrying weapons.
J was an adopted young person whose parents had split up and he was residing with his adoptive mum. He was referred to Targeted Youth Support from the FAST team who were concerned his behaviour and increased display of anger would lead to exclusion from his school.
“I initially went to see him in his school, during our first encounter he was very open and as a result, he became very vulnerable in that first meeting. He went back into class and kicked off at a teacher and subsequently was kicked out of school. I was working in Stratford at the time, and he lived in the Stratford district. I have a centre there and suggested he come to have weekly 1-1 sessions.”
Carla goes on to explain that J was a child who constantly felt pressure, from his school, his peers (some of whom were much older than him), other organisations and his mum. His way of responding to this pressure was to lash out. Carla explains how initially she adopted this approach, to challenge him, but quickly realised that it would not work.
“The first few sessions he would come along and not really engage in the process. He has ADHD which made the sessions even more difficult. I didn’t challenge him, as he was used to challenges all along and his way of dealing with that challenge was to mask it with negative behaviours and language, almost masking the shame he felt”.
Successful relationships are open and non-judgemental
Carla realised J was carrying a lot of shame and embarrassment around with him, he appeared older than his age and he struggled to accept the fact that he was 13 years old. He had friends who were much older than him, some of whom were aged 18. There were concerns about J being pulled into increasingly negative behaviour or exposed to things he shouldn’t be at such a young age. Social services had to intervene and place a restraining order against an older friend to ensure he did not contact J.
Carla explains the moment she felt she was able to truly gain rapport with J “It’s difficult to point to where the change occurred, but I recall one time he came in after he had had an argument with his mum which turned violent and resulted in him threatening her with a knife. We got talking and I could sense the pressure coming off him, he spoke about his adopted family, and he explained he feels like he sticks out and doesn’t really fit in, he showed me a vulnerable side to him”.
J’s school decided to send him to an alternative provision centre after a team around a child meeting. His school was already a forty minute drive from home, and the alternative provision was even further away, almost an hour and a half’s drive away.
Carla stood firm and did not accept this decision for J. “I challenged this decision, he has ADHD and anxiety which he had been masking. 1 hour and 30 minutes in a car every morning would not help him at all – the school were solely focused on his behaviour. I had to fight his corner by explaining that he needed to be listened to and off the back of that the school did listen and I think this was a turning point in our relationship.”
“Sometimes as a youth worker, it’s difficult to express your concerns when there are heads of schools, police officers and social workers present in the room, but I felt that it was necessary to ensure the interests of this child were heard.”
Successful relationships are supportive and not transactional
Carla explains how her relationship with J went from strength to strength after she ensured he wouldn’t be sent to an alternative provision.
“I think it made him more trusting, the sessions completely changed from him glamourising his bad behaviour to us making cupcakes together and having regular conversations. He was smoking weed regularly and gaming until the early hours, I gave him a gym induction and introduced some healthier choices. He reported back to me his sleep was better, and he wasn’t gaming until the early hours as usual. He won’t be perfect, but these behaviours were incredibly difficult to picture when we first started working together and I think he felt encouraged by the small positive changes he was making.”
It is clear from speaking to Carla, J was able to feel comfortable with her because there was no external pressure, and the relationship did not feel transactional. Carla and other service providers like hers can take that pressure off young people like J.
J’s story ended with him going back to mainstream school in September. Carla felt J knew the difference between right and wrong and had the foundations of a good character but had made bad decisions. Carla spoke to the out-court-disposals team and encouraged the fact that he was not criminalised as it would result in the same patterns of behaviour occurring from him.
“I built a great relationship with his mum, the last thing she e-mailed me was to say he was doing really well in school, and in classes that he had been kicked out of previously he is now getting good reports.”
Pascalle Hatfield, Family Group Conference facilitator, Family Valued, Darlington
Pascalle Hatfield is a Family Group Conference (FGC) facilitator in Darlington children’s services, having joined from a background in the voluntary sector. For Pascalle, implementing FGC needs to be seen as part of the wider programme of Family Valued culture and practice change in Darlington – and a shift in mindset in the council since she joined in December 2019.
Working with families
Pascalle see FGCs as indicative of a new way of working with families. “Every FCG session is totally different, because every family is different”, she says. In Darlington, FGC professionals are called ‘facilitators’ because their job is to support families to find solutions – not to tell them what to do. Pascalle explains: “I say to families: I’m not social worker, I’m a facilitator… I say to families that this is for them. It is their opportunity. It makes them feel empowered.”
FGCs are a key part of Family Valued’s emphasis on families taking a lead role in the decision-making process, where it is safe to do so. As Pascalle and her colleagues demonstrate, this requires a commitment to trusting families, putting them in control and believing in their ability to solve problems for themselves.
Building trust
Working with families – not doing to them – is what Family Valued and FGC is all about. This means having an ability to build relationships.
As an FGC facilitator, Pascalle is an advocate for the approach and has to be able to ‘sell’ it to families.
Pascalle explains how she enjoys meeting families. “Establishing that relationship is key and the initial prep calls are important for that. I try to meet as many of the family as I can”, she says. “At the conferences themselves, we provide tea and coffee and try to make it a pleasant experience. There are people round the table that doesn’t necessarily see eye to eye, especially with a separated family, so we have to be able to create the right atmosphere and remind everyone it is about their child.”
Keeping families together
FGC, including Pascalle’s work over the last 4 years, has made a significant difference to families. Data from 2020-21 based on 12 months of FGCs in Darlington showed that 17 children were returned to their family from a care placement, 15 children were prevented from going into care, 37 avoided or de-escalated a child protection plan, and 44 families avoided or de-escalated a statutory intervention. On top of this, families reported positive outcomes of improved relationships and confidence to seek help, all of which help to keep children safe from harm.
In recognition of its success, Pascalle was part of Darlington’s Keeping Families Together Team gold award in the Team of the Year category at the 2021 Social Worker of the Year awards.
“The best part of the job is when a family leaves the FGC with a clear plan, that I know everyone buys into and will keep the child with his or her family”, says Pascalle.
“I feel very humbled and grateful to have facilitated change in people lives. It’s an amazing thing to be part of and it makes me feel proud.”
Working towards reunification
Chloe (not her real name) spent two years without her children at home after they were taken into care. Reflecting on this time,
Chloe explained that the two years were difficult, but the support from her social worker Sam as part of the reunification plan was crucial to Chloe’s children being able to move back home.
“Sam was amazing, she was so easy to talk to and she wasn’t judgemental. She was actually amazing. If all the social workers were like Sam, we would have a happy place out there.”
Sam, and her colleague Jane, played an important role in working with Chloe and her children by meeting with them where they were and putting the right support structures in place. “The way they have done the reunification plan is really good as it has eased me in. I had the two years of no routines, just seeing the children when it was our family time. If they had then sent them back and it was 24/7, 7 days a week it would have been setting me up to fail and I wouldn’t have coped.”
Instead, Sam and Jane worked with Chloe bit by bit to build her capacity, encourage her, and support her without overwhelming her or her children. And this approach has paid off. “How they have done it gradually, it really works for me and for the boys and I’m getting that little bit of a break while still getting that quality time with the boys.”
Trust as the foundation of every relationship
When asked about Sam and Jane and how they had supported her, Chloe had one word to summarise their relationship: trust.
“I felt like I could trust them, and with me being able to trust them I was able to be open and honest. I could speak to them about anything, and I knew I wasn’t being judged.” This idea of trust was something that Chloe kept coming back to as she felt she could be open with Sam and Jane and they would take what she shared with them and incorporate it into the reunification plan, rather than what she shared eventually being used against her.
“I found this was really good as I was able to speak and I was valued for what I wanted to say and how I felt.”
And this trusting relationship has had a knock-on effect with Chloe’s children who have seen an open and honest relationships modelled for them which has encouraged them to follow and do the same. “With Sam, my boys will tell you that Sam is my friend, so they can say anything to her as Sam is mummy’s friend. We’ve made it so that they can say anything to the social worker, whereas before they couldn’t say anything as if they did, they would get mummy into trouble. Now they can share their worries and their feelings because they know mummy isn’t going to get into trouble.”
How can social workers support families like Chloe’s?
The focus on creating trusting relationships with parents, children, and families is central to the Family Valued approach and is underpinned by a belief in families’ strengths and supporting them to find solutions, so it isn’t surprising that Chloe keeps referring to the strength of her relationship with Sam and Jane.
When asked what advice she would give to other social workers when faced with similar cases to her own, Chloe said, “to not be so judgemental, and just be that person they feel like they can trust. Build those relationships first because social workers have that stigma, and they will always have that stigma, that they are here to take my kids, but it’s about being reassuring that we’re not here to take your kids, we’re here to work with you.”
Looking forward to the future
Chloe knows that she is not alone in this journey, and this has given her a lot of confidence. It’s not just the support from Sam and Jane but support from the Edge of Care team and her wider family network as well. Chloe was part of a Family Group Conference with a specialist facilitator supporting the family to develop their own plan to support her and her children.
“Having the Family Group Conference is good because you know that your support network is going to be there and stick by you.”
Following the success of the reunification plan and her children moving back home and the support of those around her, Chloe is excited and optimistic for the future.
“We’re going to have an amazing future. I have had two years without the boys and so we have a lot of making up to do. Our future is very bright.”
Hannah Grant, Youth Worker, Family Valued, Warwickshire
When Hannah first started working with Lisa (not her real name), Lisa was living with her mum, her mum’s partner, and her younger siblings. Lisa was not in any education, work or training at the time and did not socialise outside of her family which all contributed to her social anxiety. As a result, her mental health had deteriorated culminating in suicidal ideation and self-harm.
Reflecting on the start of her time working with Lisa, Hannah explains that “this was a unique case… as it involved a young girl who was open to receiving help and support, which goes a long way in ensuring there is success in the end.”
Lisa had been referred to Hannah by the children’s team and she acknowledged that she needed help.
Hannah explains, “within the family, there had been a history of sexual abuse, alcoholism, drugs, poverty, and depravity, themes which are catalysts for trauma. Lack of emotional regulation within the family which had resulted in members of the family becoming dependent on alcohol. The mother was in and out of several relationships and largely had not been present in Lisa’s life. This resulted in Lisa having attachment disorders, where she was unable to emotionally connect with others, seeking sexual relationships for attention and having low self-esteem”.
Putting together a plan
Hannah worked on a plan of action with Lisa and together they worked towards Lisa to have a better understanding of family-cycles, to make healthier decisions with relationships, and for Lisa to understand her own learned behaviours. Progressively, Hannah wanted Lisa to create aspirational goals, to move towards these personal goals, and make positive choices for her future.
Ultimately, the aim would be for Lisa to feel healthier, happier, and more positive about her life and her circumstances, including feeling safe and secure in her home environment.
“Sometimes as professionals, we can underestimate how much support and professional help people need, there are so many other things other than what we are there to help with which require attention. You cannot isolate a specific part of someone’s life and neglect other areas which require the same level of attention and support.”
Lisa was initially living with her mum in an unstable and toxic environment and within a month of working with Hannah Lisa had moved to live with her dad. Hannah worked with Lisa to understand her family trauma. Lisa wanted a relationship with her mother, but she needed to understand that her mother was not in a place at the time where that relationship could develop.
Hannah explains, “we worked together for a year. I can’t say that things between Lisa and her mother are perfect, they have had blips, but it was key for them to understand that these blips will occur and they do not have to be catastrophic. We had weekly sessions where we met in a coffee shop or went for a drive and discussed the different ways she can reflect, focusing on that week or that day. The pace of these conversations was always decided by her.”
Building relationships to support change takes time
Lisa’s character developed and so did some of her behaviours. By working with Hannah, Lisa was able to get herself a job which helped her socialise and develop relationships with others. She began to keep a diary, she explored art, and developed a consistent morning routine. Lisa reengaged with education and started GCSEs in maths and English to further her job and career prospects.
Hannah explains that “although the ‘work’ stops after a certain period, these relationships require longevity and part of the role is to give young people the reassurance that they haven’t had in the past.” Lisa is currently living with her dad and does check in with Hannah occasionally, sometimes with positive news, and other times to say she has had a blip. For Hannah it is important that the relationship doesn’t end abruptly.
“We normally get 6-12 weeks to work with young people, but I ended up working with her for a year. Longevity is needed to have a lasting impact. She wanted that positive role model and direction which she hadn’t experienced in the past, so I stayed as long as I could.”
Kim*, Mother, Family Valued, Newcastle
*Not her real name
Over the years, there had been so many different social workers and other professionals in and out of Kim’s life and for such a long period of time that she felt despondent, powerless, and without a voice. For Kim, it felt like all the important decisions in her life were being made by other people. Previously, Kim’s children had been taken into care.
As part of her social worker’s support, Kim was introduced to the idea of Family Group Conferencing (FGC) as a potential strategy for one of her children to return to her care. Leanne, the FGC Coordinator, remembers when she first met Kim. “She was really anxious and really unsure at the beginning about it.”
Making decision-making family led
Kim admits that when the idea of an FGC was first explained to her, she didn’t really understand it, but when she met Leanne the experience was different to her past experiences and she was able to relax.
“Leanne was totally different, it was nothing like what I thought, it was totally relaxed. There was tea and coffee and biscuits, it was so different to anything before.”
Leanne explains that with FGCs, her focus is to keep the setting as relaxed as possible, to make the family feel at home so that they are able to think and interact as best as possible. A key to this is making it clear that it is family led and so it is important that the social worker is not present for the private family time. This was very different to anything Kim had experienced before.
In preparation for the FGC Leanne met with all of Kim’s family. She got to know them and brought them into the process. Leanne’s role was to prepare the family for the FGC and support them through the meetings and subsequent reviews.
When Kim thinks back to this time in her life and how Leanne was able to engage her wider family, Kim is able to see the value of this support. “Personally, I never would have asked my family for help, I was too proud to. But when my family got involved, it was great to see them all come together and see them offer to help me. They wanted to help me. It was great to see them offer to help me.”
“For my family to come together and set up a family plan on how they would support my child to come home was so good to see.”
Supporting a family towards reunification
Karen, a senior practitioner social worker who was supporting Kim during this process, says that it was the FGC that made it possible for Kim’s child to return to her care. “They came up with a plan that was really specific and broke down the support they could offer Kim and what that would look like.”
Initially, the plan started with Kim’s child staying with her for one night per week. This increased to two nights per week after a successful six-week review, and eventually went up to five nights per week. The whole family rallied around Kim to support her through this period, they were there for her, and she knew how she could rely on each of her family members if she needed their help.
Kim was anxious for her child to return home but she understood that it would not happen straight away. “Leanne was really good at explaining how we had to see how it would go with the overnights and not doing it too quickly.”
Eventually, Kim’s child was able to move permanently back home. “He is home now and it’s just fantastic! I have him back.”
For Leanne, one moment stands out for her. “I remember when the social worker was there and the reunification worker was there and they were able to say that everything had gone well, all the assessments were positive, they have a great family plan moving forward and they were able to see that Kim’s child could go home in the next week or two.”
Kim will be forever grateful for her experience of an FGC and how her family rallied around her to make it possible for her child to return home. She felt like she had been listened to and she had her voice back. “It was spot on. It was a really good experience.”